Nothing New on the Home front.

I know it has been a while since I have written. Things have been a little blah around here. I have been in a rut with all these doctors, medicines, insurance, not feeling well, and yet another night in the hospital. The neurosurgeon in Florida was no help at all. I talked to the assistant doctor for a while and then the surgeon came in. Not in a rude way, he flat out asked what I was doing there. According to him my surgery was a success and he didn't understand why I was there. He is supposed to be writing a recommendation for the insurance company in hopes that I will finally get to a specialist. I still don't feel as though my surgery was a success. I still have that awful gut feeling that something needs to be done. I'm just the person going through it all and feeling it all, what would I know?

I went to my regular neurologist last week and he changed my medicine routine and is weaning me off of the Fentanyl patches. I am somewhat anxious that I will be in a lot more pain. We'll give it a try and hope that I'm wrong. I just want to be in as little pain as possible with the least amount of medicine as possible. None of these issues are easy by any means. I am sick of this affecting pretty much every area of my life, as well as those around me. Right now, the only appointments I have to deal with are just my neurologist. I do however need to go to my family doctor for some normal issues.

I was kept over night in the hospital again. I was having excruciating back pain and couldn't really walk again. They tested me for something that luckily it turned out not to be because it would have lead to emergency surgery. I ended up having slipped discs and a B12 deficiency. I was so glad that it was only one night. I hate being in there alone.

Anymore, I just want to stop all of these doctors. I'm sick of hearing that nothing is wrong or just having meds thrown at me when they truly don't know a whole lot about what they are dealing with. I am done going to the hospital in hopes that someone might find a problem and help me. It's time to put on the fake smile, act like nothing is wrong. I haven't even been diagnosed for a year and I am so fed up with it. I have felt so stressed lately and that makes me feel worse. Everything makes it feel worse. I really hope that somehow my insurance decides to let me go to the Mayo Clinic and they can prove everyone wrong.