Neurologist or Not?

Yesterday, I was supposed to go to the neurologist. My husband got off work, we got our son ready, and we drove all the way across town just to find out that SOMEHOW my appointment got cancelled and they didn't notify me. Had I not shown up, they would've charged me for taking up their time. Luckily, I kind of like this doctor and this is only strike one. They were able to reschedule me for Tuesday. I sat around all day, excited and anxious, hoping that I would get some answers. Even if there were just about the seizures, any answer would've been nice.

Ever since the diagnoses started rolling in, I feel like it has been a constant battle. A battle to either get people to believe me or to actually be proactive in trying to treat me. It's like they think that just because they did the decompression surgery, I should be fixed. Well in my opinion, maybe the fluid collections are causing some issues, maybe the needed to do the duraplasty, maybe there is scar tissue that is pressing on something, or maybe they should deal with the syrinx. I am getting to the end of my rope. I don't know how many more appointments I can take. I don't know how many more days walking around feeling the way I do I can take. I don't know how I am supposed to live my life like this.

I feel as if the doctor's just want to keep pushing meds on me. I spend hours on the internet in hopes that I can find something on my own that will explain why I feel the way I do. While I know that I am not a medical professional, if the doctors aren't going to take the time to figure it out, then I guess I have to. I find people with the same issues or symptoms and here they are getting treatments, or requiring further surgeries, or whatever. I am on the verge of a major breakdown. I guess it is time to start taking finding new doctors more seriously. The past couple few months have been absolute hell. I am only 28 years old and I just cannot sit back and accept that there is nothing they can do to help or that I have to spend decades more feeling like this. I am sick of feeling like a medical mystery. I am sick of hearing, "Well, let's try this and see if it helps.". Something has got to give.