I have many family members and friends with different conditions. I have family with very bad diabetes, pain problems, anxiety, and many other things. I have a very good friend who has Cystic Fibrosis and is in and out of the hospital so often that they might as well name a ward after her. They have all been inspirational to me. But, WHY??? Why is it the people who truly have something wrong with them get treated like they are okay? Why are the people in the most pain the ones that get treated like junkies and the people that are fine get handed everything to them when they complain about something so small? Why is it that just because you can't see something physically wrong with us on the outside, you think we are okay? Why is more money not being spent of research and finding ways to help? I may never know the answer to this but there is always going to be a why. I am just not the type of person that can accept things without at least trying to figure out why it is happening.
We are expected to go through our daily lives, acting like nothing is wrong. We should be able to clean house, go to work, take care of our families, or even try to have a little bit of fun. The problem is, when we do, even as we are doing it, we know that we will pay for it later. There are so many people out there that don't appreciate the things they have or the things they can do and feel fine. The rest of us try to be "normal" but sometimes we just can't. Me personally, I feel like because of all of this, I can't be the person I once was. It's harder to be the mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter, that I want to be. I almost feel like I'm not the best I can be and it kills me. It can be so depressing at times. You are faced with the conflict of letting those close to you know everything that is going on or to hold back some to try to not stress or worry them as much. I know that within time, and after hopefully getting some answers, I will get through this and be a stronger person for it.
I love you girl! These are questions I ask myself everyday..and sadly we will never get the answers! Docs all think they know what they are talking about when they don't have a clue! Its so upsetting but at the same time, we can't change the cards we are dealt only how we play and won the game! Just remember always have a good outlook on whatever is handed to you because it could always be worse...there is always someone who is struggling more so in the long spectrum of things we are doing ok, just need to surround your self with positive energy and love! It will all work out and from where I'm standing we are both so lucky with the support system and small outlets we do have! Chin up love it all works out! Love you!
ReplyDeleteThanks woman! I am slowly getting there, but it's taking a little time. Love ya!
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