I hate these days when life is horrible as soon as I wake up. With my conditions, I wish I could know what to expect every morning when I wake up. Everything changes from one day to the next. All though they have all been had anymore, I would at least like to take the minimum. I wake up every morning and take 7 pills, the I take 3 pills two more times throughout the day and 7 again before bed. I also have a patch that I have to change every 72 hours. I'm 28 years old. Come on now. I shouldn't have to be dealing with all of this yet. I am also still waiting on another medicine for my high cholesterol by the doctor wants to hold off on it until they figure everything else out.
This morning I woke up in EXTREME pain. The numbness and tingling are worse than they have been in a while. I had gotten used to the normal amount that I have, but when the really bad days hit, I just want to cry. There are even parts of my body that I can't feel at all. I have managed to drop just about everything I have picked up today. Luckily, I was able to keep ahold of my hot cup of coffee. I have walked into about 10 different things and it's only been an hour and a half. I text my husband to say good morning and he asked me if I remember stretching my arms out and putting them on his chest at 4:30 am. I don't remember anything. He told me that he thought I may have been having another seizure but after watching, I seemed fine. Now this stuff wants to start happening in my sleep too. I have a feeling after talking to him about it that it was a seizure. When I finally decided to get out of bed, I was in a lot of pain, just like after all my other episodes. My arms, shoulders, and neck were killing me.
We are still waiting for the neurologist to call back about the results of the EEG I took last week and hopefully get some incite into the problem and what the neurosurgeon is thinking. I am not the type of person who likes to sit back and wait. I want to know every possibility to look it up and have time to digest it. I think my husband wants answers even more than I do. I know that all of this scares him and that he wants to take away all the pain. It's difficult to say the least. Like I have said before, I feel horrible that everyone around me has to deal with this as well.
My vision seems to be getting worse. Everything is really blurry. I used to be able to focus when I really needed to but that isn't the case anymore. I know that I need to get and eye exam, but since I am already unable to drive, I figure I can put it off a little longer until we have extra money to get new glasses. I am having some problems swallowing. Food doesn't seem to be much of an issue, but liquids are. I have to try and try to get them down.
When I saw my PCM the other day, I wanted to ask her about something for the depression and anxiety. Of course, I had to have a seizure while waiting for her so my whole appointment with her was kind of a blur and confusing. I don't really want to add any more medicines, but I am slowly slipping farther into the depression. I hate all of this because I want to be happy for myself and my family. Having all of this on my plate 24/7 is breaking me. I have my times when I am okay and accept it but then there are the days when I am still so angry and upset. I have anxiety attacks on almost a daily basis. I don't get why things have to keep piling up. Why can't people have one problem to deal with instead of adding to them all the time.
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